Edwin Stanton once called Abraham Lincoln a “long-armed ape.” Yet, despite this insult, Lincoln appointed him as Secretary of War during the American Civil War.
When asked why he chose Stanton, Lincoln simply said, “He was the best man for the job.” He wasn’t focused on getting even or holding a grudge. Instead, he prioritized what was best for the country. He knew Stanton’s abilities outweighed his personal opinion of him.
Over time, Stanton’s respect for Lincoln grew. As Lincoln lay on his deathbed, Stanton famously said, “Now he belongs to the ages.” Lincoln had always been known for his wisdom, and if Stanton’s harsh words had ever offended him, he never let it show.
The Trouble of Talking Too Much
“A person who talks too much gets into trouble. A wise person learns to be quiet.” — Proverbs 10:19
Bibleref.com explains this verse by saying:
“According to Solomon, incessant talking leads to sin. . .. a wise person knows when to stop talking. In fact, when in doubt, it’s better not to speak than to say something one might regret later.”
The old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” isn’t true. Lincoln may never have heard this phrase, but he certainly understood its falsehood.
Words have power. They can inspire, encourage, and uplift—or they can tear down, spread lies, and wound deeply. Even the truth, if spoken harshly, can do harm.
Imagine an art teacher telling a young child, “You’ll never be an artist.” That one careless comment could make the child afraid to ever pick up a crayon again.
Think Before You Speak
I try to think before I speak. Sometimes, I overthink—worrying that I’ve said the wrong thing if someone gives me a strange look.
If I’m joking, I might use sarcasm—but only if I know they’ll take it well. If I’m unsure, I stay quiet.
What about you? Are you quick to respond? I’m not. I tend to process things slowly. By the time I think of a witty comeback, the moment has passed.
Some people are quick-witted and say whatever comes to mind. But if their words are careless, or hurtful, they end up causing damage. Holding back unkind words can prevent unnecessary conflict. Lincoln was a great example of this.
I strive to speak words that build others up, though I don’t always succeed. Controlling the tongue is difficult, but it’s worth the effort.
Life-Giving Words
Speaking life into others can mean:
- Encouraging people in their strengths.
- Truly listening when someone speaks.
- Giving sincere compliments—because people can always tell when they aren’t real.
For inspiration, here are some quotes often attributed to Abraham Lincoln:
- “The best way to predict your future is to create it.”
- “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”
- “You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.”
- “I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.”
- “Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?”
- “Give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.”
- “I don’t think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.”
- “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”
- “I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go.”
- “Whatever you are, be a good one.”
And, of course, the wisdom of Proverbs reminds us:
“Kind words are like honey; they are easy to accept and good for your health.” — Proverbs 16:24
Let’s choose to build each other up rather than tear each other down. The next time you’re tempted to speak an unkind word, pause. If you keep it to yourself, no one gets hurt.
What do you think of these quotes? Take some time to journal your thoughts.
For more on kind words check out my journaling prompt Inspiration Like Honey here, and for Friends with Powerful People You Must Have This here.
Sources and References:
BibleGateway. “Proverbs 10:19, Easy-to-Read Version.” Bible Gateway, https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2010%3A19&version=ERV. Accessed 10 Feb. 2025.
BibleGateway. “Proverbs 18:21, New International Version.” Bible Gateway, https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2018%3A21&version=NIV. Accessed 10 Feb. 2025.
BibleRef.com. “Proverbs 10:19 Meaning and Commentary.” BibleRef, https://www.bibleref.com/Proverbs/10/Proverbs-10-19.html#:~:text=According%20to%20Solomon%2C%20incessant%20talking,something%20one%20might%20regret%20later. Accessed 10 Feb. 2025.
Lincoln, Abraham. Abraham Lincoln: Selected Speeches and Writings. Edited by Gore Vidal, Library of America, 1992.
The Abraham Lincoln Association. “Abraham Lincoln: Collected Works.” The Abraham Lincoln Association, https://abrahamlincolnassociation.org/abraham-lincoln-collected-works/. Accessed 10 Feb. 2025.
Donald, David Herbert. Lincoln. Simon & Schuster, 1995.
Shapell Manuscript Foundation. “The Lincoln-Douglas Debates.” Shapell Historical Perspectives, https://www.shapell.org/historical-perspectives/between-the-lines/lincoln-douglas-debates/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAg8S7BhATEiwAO2-R6jYTNrogo7-Kp8QvWnjHfbfVYRGhj3SAHOLrp3I4V2NxYAbBKY4mzRoCTIEQAvD_BwE. Accessed 10 Feb. 20